Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Outing The Apostles of Perpetual Psychosis

Listen Up, You Christo-Fascist Bullies -- You Apostles Of Perpetual Psychosis -- It's High Time Somebody Called You Out

by Phil Rockstroh
August 27, 2005

"If he [Hugo Chávez] thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. And I don't think any oil shipments will stop."
-- Pat Robertson

Listen up, Reverend Robertson, Mary Fowler -- every last one of you Apostles of Perpetual Psychosis -- it's time that you were called out.

The time is long past due the rest of us ceased our cowering and stood up to you Christo-fascists bullies. The hour has come round that we look you straight in your bulging, true believer eyes, and told you that we've had it with your smugness, with your blood-drenched crusades, with your victim mentality -- and to wit the madness begot by this cracked-brain belief system of yours, which all began (according to your sacred delusions) more than two thousand years ago when, at the behest of a wicked cabal, a mob of mammon-worshipping, blood-lusting rabble went on a cosmic killing-spree and murdered your god.

First off, let's get one thing straight: No one ever killed anyone's god (not Jews, nor Romans, nor Geeks playing Dungeons and Dragons), although it's time somebody nailed you, you collection of conflated failures at Christian martyrdom, to a metaphysical cross of reality.

The Reverend Pat Robertson, Mary Fowler -- and every last one of you Apostles of Perpetual Psychosis -- listen up.
Given the self-evident fact that your beliefs bring little relief to your own troubled souls and have, on the whole, served to engender tragedy worldwide, don't you think it's time you gave it a rest for while. In other words, this is a polite way of suggesting to you that you shut your pie-in-the-sky hole and take stock of the things you're saying, because your utterances are becoming sicker and sadder by the hour.

If not, you could at least, in the words of Tom Waits, "Come down off the cross -- we can use the wood."
In accordance with this self-referential lunacy, you sermonized that Satan's earthly emissaries, such as Hugo Chávez, should be righteously slaughtered because he and his ilk scheme to deprive American drivers of their God-given right to the oil which, inconveniently, happens to be located beneath lands belonging to inconsequential people. Those brown skinned, oil hoarding wretches down in Venezuela and their false idol-clutching counterparts in Iraq, Iran, and Syria must be taught that God, seated upon his golden throne, scorns the sight of their iniquitous ways. The Kingdom of the Lord stands before us, you proclaim. If we listen closely, we can hear the voice of God above as he counts his money. Furthermore, the era of George W. Bush has brought a new revelation: If America's plutocratic class had even more blood money, then the Baby Jesus would smile.

Of course, the only small recompense you ask from these monumental ingrates is unfettered access to their oil. And the only reason for that is: a purpose as exalted as yours requires a great amount of energy to sustain its radiant glory; such a selfless enterprise of holiness demands a few rewards for the long suffering Christian martyrs on the home front, because America's God-kissed flocks of pious consumers must be permitted to sit, in perpetuity, high above the roadways of the land, serene within their oversized pickup trucks, SUVs, and RVs -- their junk food-bloated countenances must never be darkened by want, doubt, nor self-reproach.

"May god forgive them - they know not what they do." - Jesus ( reportedly, on the cross)


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